Fifteen years ago, a divine voice instructed me to sell everything and follow God. The passage about the rich man asking Jesus how to enter the kingdom of God, and Jesus’ responded to “Sell all and follow me,” (Matthew 19:21-24) came to mind. After fifteen years of sleeping by rivers and in the bush, these stories are being written up hopefully to be made into a movie. Today, I even questioned whether I had entered God’s kingdom.
The answer’s yes!
Leaving my day behind, I entered His day, which was truly amazing. When you enter God's Day, there is no control in your hands anymore. The significant time spent on those rivers and in the bush was dedicated to overcoming my fallen self. You need quiet reflections to identify your discord with God. When God removes your identity and titles, you become vulnerable. The feeling of vulnerability is disliked because it exposes, but in that moment, God strengthens you with Himself. After that, I was stripped down and compelled onto my knees. I then noticed Matthew 19:23-26, the passage comparing the difficulty of a rich man entering the kingdom of heaven to a camel passing through the eye of a needle. Kneeling, I beheld God’s kingdom’s entrance. My load was removed from my back. This encompassed my social groups. My sense of self-importance, riches, things, and identity were removed .
Historically, the city’s gateways were key-shaped, causing camels to kneel for unloading before entering the city. In a kneeling position, you surrender to God’s control. Self-righteousness followed, viewing events through my own eyes and convinced of my own rightness. I was left with nothing, yet I remained present in time’s passage.
I gained my footing in God’s kingdom at that moment. An incomprehensible peace enveloped the kingdom. My life and thoughts have remained peaceful and without conflict. My identity in Him was then affirmed. Being in His presence was continuous; I didn’t need to go anywhere for peace and communion. Although God was always around, my oversized ego blocked me from Him.
Are we there yet?
Even though a journey ends when it’s complete, individual segments of the journey can end before that time. Freed from my past difficulties, I’m ready to change my focus. These days, I don’t need to dwell on my flaws. Seven hundred acres of land, a converted train carriage, and God as my companion in the days. Though still connected to the river water, I now enjoy comforts that were absent during twelve of the past fifteen years.
Throughout my journey, I learned both to love the unlovable and to forgive those who wronged me. The most significant lesson was learning to love the church, as Jesus does. To me, the church encompasses everyone, not just those attending Sunday services. We are all God’s, and together we form His church. We create divisions and names, not God; God doesn’t discriminate or separate. Christ’s body is more than just those at Sunday church. All of us are embodied in Him.
To live with God is to live in God’s kingdom. They are one and the same. He is already dwelling with us!
While God was always present, we were the ones missing in our own actions.
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