His Sorrow

Over the years, I have seen inside the churches.

At first, I was filled with excitement. Then I saw the devil roaming within the walls.

I became cautious of who was leading me inside those walls.

Then I felt loss.

And the loveless church rose up and turned its back on me.

I went outside the walls — that is when they refused to know me anymore.

Then, I became angry.

In time, that anger gave way to acceptance. And now that acceptance has turned into sorrow.

I have seen shepherds lead their flocks into deception through false beliefs.

I have seen abuse so severe it is incomprehensible.

I have seen lives destroyed and groups effectively murdered within the very congregations meant to protect them.

As it is written:

“Woe to the shepherds who destroy and scatter the sheep of My pasture,”says the Lord.“You have scattered My flock and driven them away.” — Jeremiah 23

Yet I do not weep for myself.

I weep for the leaders, as Jesus wept for His people.

For when He drew near and saw the city, He did not accuse it—He wept over it.

“O Jerusalem, Jerusalem…how often I have longed to gather your children together, as a hen gathers her chicks under her wings, and you were not willing.”

This has always been the grief of God.

My shepherds have led my flock astray.

This is not accusation. This is sorrow.

Not the sorrow of bitterness, but the sorrow of love that has seen clearly and still longs to gather.

And beneath this sorrow is the final cry of love spoken from the cross:

“Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they do.” — Luke 23:34

This is the sadness I carry—not judgment, but mercy spoken in full knowledge of the wound in our Lord’s heart.